In 2019 I decided to leave the country I was born in (Switzerland) to build a newer and more exciting life in London.

 

At that time, I was working in a small supplement shop in my hometown and coaching a couple of clients as a Personal trainer.

 

After visiting London a couple of times and being inspired by my brother who had already left Switzerland to live in this big city, I decided to quit everything and go all in.

 

My dream and expectations were big :

• I was going to become a big fitness influencer and get loads of attention
• I would have clients all around the world
• I wanted to meet, connect and train hard with people from the fitness industry
• I would live a fancy lifestyle, wearing expensive clothes, travelling a lot and eating at the best restaurants

 

Back then, I wasn’t aware of it, but all my dreams and expectations were packed with selfishness and naivety.

 

I was holding one single perspective that wasn’t even grounded in reality.

 

My perspective was :

 

If I believe very strongly in my dreams it will magically happen.

 

Expectations VS Reality

 

On the 3^rd of March 2019, I took the plane to London with two big suitcases, ready for the best life and the fame.

 

Unfortunately (but fortunately now), nothing happened like imagined:

• I was renting a small room in a council flat and living with another family
• I managed to get one or two consistent clients who could afford Personal Training sessions for less than 20 pounds an hour
• I was barely earning enough money to pay my rent and buy some food
• I was lonely and very isolated because I was spending most of my time in my little room due to the lack of money to go somewhere.

 

I remember having less than 5 pounds in my bank account right after paying the rent and trying to survive on big bags of oats I would carefully separate into little 80g portions 3 times a day.

 

I was too ashamed to ask for help because I was trying to paint the perfect picture of the perfect London experience to my family, my friends and on Instagram.

 

I was delusional and had too much pride to want to get a job to bring a bit more abundance and stability into my life because, in my mind, I knew that sooner or later “ everything would fall into place”

 

After struggling for months, I met someone who was brutally honest with me :

 

It hit me like an electroshock and it completely destroyed a part of my ego, but I had to get a job and anchor myself into reality.

 

I applied randomly at so many different places and eventually got an interview to work in the coffee area at a gym.

 

I didn’t know it back then, but this experience was the moment that changed everything for me.

 

I got a job at one of London’s most expensive and exclusive gyms.

 

New environment, new conditioning

 

Although I was just a simple employee, my reality changed from being in an isolated and broke environment to spending 8 hours a day with very rich people, premium services and training experience and access to high-end infrastructure.

 

The change in reality was so extreme that it reconnected me to something very special and important:

 

Curiosity.

 

This new environment was so unfamiliar to me that in order to adapt and feel like I belonged (remember? This is one of the most important human needs we all have) to it, I needed to condition myself differently.

 

I started to have conversations with the members of the gym, asking questions about their jobs and their lives but most importantly I intuitively developed one of the most important skills that allowed me to ground myself in reality :

 

Observation.

 

When you enter a new environment, you enter the unknown.

 

The goal is to make the unknown, familiar (known) in the most accurate way possible.

 

What I mean by accurate, is that you want to look at the world as a true reflection of reality instead of a projection of how you want to perceive it.

 

If you haven’t practiced and acquired the skill of observation, you approach the world by making everything about yourself :

 

• You make everything personal and related to you
• You judge and criticise easily
• You react emotionally to the world around you
• You try to avoid negative or difficult situations because they are a threat to your self-worth and self-esteem

 

This is a state of close-mindedness because it holds only one single perspective: yours.

 

But Reality is not only about the way you see the world.

 

What about my perspective?

 

or your dad’s perspective?

 

or your co-worker’s perspective?

 

The perspective of a person on the other side of the planet?

 

Do they not exist?

 

Don’t they matter?

 

And what makes your perspective the only right one?

 

When you approach life from a closed-minded and single perspective, you are purely led by your emotions, instead of seeing your environment as a collection of data you can process and learn from.

 

If you don’t learn how to detach and observe, you cannot ground yourself in reality.

 

You are in a parallel state of reality, called an illusion.

 

This was the exact reason why my transition from Switzerland to London was so painful and difficult.

 

I was only holding one single perspective:

 

“Once I move to London, everyone wants to be trained by me and life is going to be perfect”

 

This single perspective was solely fueled by my emotions.

 

• I didn’t take a step back to collect any data about the cost of living in a big city (perspective 1)
• I didn’t open myself up to other people’s experiences of living in London (perspective 2)
• I didn’t realise that building a business requires skills and experience (perspective 3)

 

Can you see the power of zooming out and learning how to hold as many perspectives as possible?

 

If I had the skill of observation and detaching when I left Switzerland, I would’ve had a more accurate perception of Reality and therefore approached my transition completely differently.

 

Observation is the bridge between one perspective to many perspectives.

 

Therefore,

 

Observation is how you transition from illusion (one perspective) to Reality (many perspectives)

 

The skill of observation

 

Observation is a skill.

 

To master any skill, you have to educate yourself about the foundations of the skill and then invest time and effort to practice it until you get good at it.

 

The skill of observation is the most important skill you have to develop if you want to start living a better life.

 

If you don’t learn to observe and detach to create awareness about the world you live in,

 

• You don’t have real relationships
• You don’t know and understand yourself deeply
• You have little control over your habits and decisions
• You easily feel powerless, anxious and overwhelmed by life

 

This is the state most people are in.

 

A state of unconsciousness about the average life they are experiencing from the social conditioning we all went through.

 

That conditioning has led us to the social game we are all playing (school, job, retirement – last week’s newsletter remember?)

 

Before you leave the path society has created for you, you need to start to see the path you are currently on.

 

This begins with learning and getting familiar with the rules and structure of the game of society.

 

How do you do that ?

 

You guessed it: Observation.

 

Observe but don’t attach

 

Our goal here is to learn to detach from your own perspective and individual interpretation of the world and collect points of view that are not influenced by your emotions.

 

Here is how you can do this :

 

1) Conscious observation

 

Every time you leave your house, I want you to actually look and feel the happening of the world around you.

 

Observe the people who walk by – what do they look like? What do they do? Are they stressed? Are they having a good time? Do they look healthy? What does their walk look like?

 

Observe the sky, the clouds, the sun – how does the sun feel on your skin? Can you hear the birds sing? Do you hear the sound of the wind in your ears?

 

Observe the infrastructure that live in – notice how the roads are built. Look at the architecture of the buildings and houses of your city.

 

Observe people’s interactions – how do the people around you communicate with each other? Do they look each other in the eyes? Do they truly listen to each other? What emotions are expressed during the interaction that you are observing?

 

Observe and sit in nature – whenever you can, immerse yourself in nature. Can you see how the changing seasons influence the growth of plants and trees or the behavior of the animals?

 

2) Report

 

Get yourself a notebook to report your daily or weekly observation experience.

 

Read them through and highlight when your observations have been influenced by your own judgement and point of view.

 

When reporting your observations, aim to make them as objective as possible.

 

For example :

By looking at the baskets and carts of people who do their shopping, I was able to notice a link between what they buy and the way they look. The people who look healthy tend to buy fresh and unprocessed food compared to the ones who don’t seem to take care of their health.

 

3) Listen with all your senses

 

Whenever you interact with someone, decide to fully receive the person you have a conversation with.

 

Do not let yourself get distracted by your phone, your thoughts or another task.

 

Instead, be fully present and focus all your attention and senses on the person you are having an interaction with.

 

Does he or she look stressed or tired?

 

How does that person use their body when they talk?

 

What is that person saying?

 

Does that person look into your eyes or avoid looking at you?

 

This will not only help you create way better relationships, it will allow you to learn and understand how human beings function.

 

With time you will start to recognise patterns of behavior that come up more consistently than others.

 

4) Weekly observation walks

 

To make observation a consistent practice, I highly recommend you to implement a couple of walks throughout your week.

 

Go on two to three little walks per week, leave your phone at home and go on an observation and contemplation journey for half an hour.

 

Imagine you are doing this walk for the first time in your life.

 

Everything is new to you.

 

From the way your feet feel in your shoes to the bird flying in the sky.

 

Observe and see how peaceful it is to be able to just let everything happen.

 

Without feeling the need to constantly judge or resist what is.

 

A place of total acceptance and therefore, new future possibilities.

 

Welcome to reality.

 

I look forward to share Part III with you.

 

In the meantime, take care.

 

Oli