- July 2022.

 

After having spent almost 4 years living in London, it was time for me to move back to Switzerland.

 

My physical health and my personal mental and emotional well-being had become my main priority.

 

This meant that I dedicated the last year to getting to know who I was, what my needs were, aligning my actions to my desires and healing my heart and my emotional wounds.

 

I had good reasons to stay in London, my relationship with my partner was the main one.

 

But the deep need for a slower life, for nature and connection to my family was more important.

 

So I made the choice to leave the UK and my partner and move back to my home town in Switzerland.

 

This time, I wasn’t running away from anything.

 

Because I was settled into my being, grounded in the love and respect I cultivated for myself and more confident in my ability to help and serve the world, I felt ready to fully open myself up to all of the unknown that comes with change.

 

On my way back home, I was reflecting on how much I have changed in the last few years.

 

The version of me that had left Switzerland was so different from who I now was in now.

 

And I think that I have surprised some of my friends and family with who I have become.

 

Stuck in stone.

 

The growth and change I had gone through became a highlighter of everything that has remained the same for the last years.

 

I couldn’t help but notice and observe that certain people around me were exactly the same people then when I left 4 years ago.

 

- Same routines.

- Same actions.

- Same way of thinking.

- Same complaints about how hard life is.

- Same problems with work, relationships, money and health.

 

As if they were stuck in stone and the concept of time didn’t apply to them.

There was this desperate need to hold on to familiarity and a complete lack of open-mindedness to realise that there could be more to life than the routine they got stuck into.

 

A life where you just go through the motions.

 

A life that becomes a collection of the same day, put on replay.

 

You condition yourself to a daily routine that doesn’t fulfil you.

 

And then complain to your partner, friends and family about how unhappy you are about the job you have, the relationships you are in and the health problems are going through.

 

But never look into how you can solve these different work, money, health and relationship problems you are experiencing every day.

 

- “It is what it is”

- “That’s how I am”

- “We all have to work”

- “I don’t have a choice”

- “There is nothing I can change”

- “This is what happens when you get older”

 

Is that true though?

 

Or are we using these statements to avoid taking responsibility for the daily dissatisfaction we are experiencing and justify our lack of willingness to find a solution to our problems?

 

The people who are stuck in their routines, in their being and in their lives, are resisting one universal truth:

 

Everything always changes.

 

Take a moment to think about it.

 

The only reason why you can read this letter on a screen is because humans have changed and evolved from cavemen to individuals who live in this modern world.

 

If humans would’ve resisted change and evolution the way you do, our species would’ve been extinct by now.

 

And if you spend time in nature, you can’t help but observe how everything either grows and evolves or dies.

 

No matter if you want it or not, this law applies to you too.

 

Complaining about how toxic the people in your relationships are, how much your back hurts or how your boss is stressing you out is not going to solve any of those problems.

 

The only option you have is to expand your level of awareness and release the resistance you have towards change.

 

Opening yourself up to the flow of life.

 

Why should the 40-year-old version of you behave, think and live the same life as the 30-year-old you?

 

What was the purpose of these 10 years that passed by if you haven’t been able to find a solution to the same problems you were complaining about 10 years ago?

 

We have encountered problems since the beginning of our existence.

 

Creation, expansion, growth and change have only happened because of individuals wanting to find a solution to problems they were experiencing.

 

Getting familiar with accepting and inviting change into your life every time an opportunity for growth presents itself to you will naturally lead you to a better life.

 

The ever-changing individual is someone who has realised that the nature of life is growth and change.

 

The ever-changing individual understands that problems will always occur but can open their mind up to welcome new perspectives instead of complaining about how things are.

 

The ever-changing individual will experience a life that just keeps getting better and better as they get better and better at finding solutions to their problems.

 

The key component to becoming an ever-changing individual is to release your resistance towards change.

 

Change is not something that has to be forced.

 

Because it is a natural universal law it just happens if you allow it to be.

 

Other laws are currently being exercised upon you.

 

The law of gravity for example.

 

It’s not like you are forcing yourself to stick to the earth, you just accept it so it just happens.

 

If you decided to resist this law and jump from a building with the expectation of flying, you would have to bear the consequences that come from not respecting this law.

 

You cannot defy a natural law and expect the result to be without consequences.

 

The same way you cannot keep complaining about your work, money, health and relationship problems and expect a solution to magically happen.

 

If you don’t allow change to happen naturally, there will be a time when you will have to be forced into it.

 

• Losing your job
• A crisis in your relationship
• The death of someone you love
• Financial obligations you are not able to honor
• Serious health problems you can’t avoid anymore

 

These events are all situations where change becomes inevitable and very painful to accept if you are used to resisting the natural flow of life.

 

Our goal here will be to start to understand why we resist change so much and then open ourselves up to the traits of the ever-changing individual.

 

So you can become a person who has the confidence to solve the current problems in your life and who can accept the invitation of change every time life pulls you towards growth.

 

Why we resist change.

 

We resist change because of two reasons.

 

1) Our fear towards what we project into the unknown

2) The short-term consequences we have to face with change

 

I hear a lot of people saying that they are scared of the unknown.

 

This isn’t true.

 

The unknown is by definition, NOT known.

 

This means that you don’t know what will happen if you allow yourself to change and evolve.

 

Our brain is structured to favour a bias towards negativity which was absolutely essential to assure our survival but since we do not have to fight for our physical survival anymore because of the comfort we were able to bring into our society, our negative bias can become a detriment.

 

You don’t know what the future holds, so anything can happen.

 

If you accept and welcome change, it could lead you to better or worse.

 

But we automatically assume that what comes with change will be bad.

You do not fear the unknown.

You fear what you project into the unknown.

 

Why is the outcome of what you project into the future so negative?

 

• You assume that if you leave your partner you will forever be single and never get to experience love again.

 

• You think that if you leave this job to start your own business it can only fail and then you will be left without any money and end up homeless.

 

• You believe that if you share your honest opinions you will be judged and criticized so heavily that you will never be able to leave your house again.

 

But how would you feel about change and the unknown if what you projected into the future was positive?

 

• You could assume that leaving your partner would allow you to find someone who is more compatible with you, who understands your needs and is able to love you better than your current partner.

 

• You could think that leaving your job to build your business will lead you to more financial income and more free time.

 

• You could decide to believe that through sharing your unique perspectives and opinions you will be able to make a unique impact on the world.

 

So our first goal here will be to reframe our outlook and negative bias towards what might happen if we open ourselves up to change.

 

You have to realise that the worst-case scenario you are projecting into the future will most likely never happen.

 

So why should you allow this unrealistic outcome to hold you back from giving yourself a better future?

 

Secondly, change always comes with consequences.

 

It shakes up your current reality and invites you to observe, question and redesign your approach to your habits, your actions, your behavior and your relationships.

 

The components that build a good and fulfilled life always take time.

 

- A healthy body.

- Inner peace.

- Financial wealth.

- Deep awareness and connection to self.

- Healthy, loving and intimate relationships.

 

If you want these components to be part of your life, you will have to get used to short-term discomfort and to the truth.

 

You can do this mostly through observation and attuning to your emotions to become aware of what you have to let go or detach from.

 

Spend some time observing and listening to the people you are surrounded by.

 

What do they spend their time talking about?

 

Do you feel good in yourself after having spent time with them?

 

If you realise that you feel bad or worse after hanging out with some of your friends or certain specific people, it might be time to let go of these relationships.

 

The short-term discomfort you will have to feel (and might become an argument to avoid change) can be having to face a difficult conversation with the person you want to detach from or having to be alone for a while until to meet new people who will be more aligned with your standards, needs and interests.

 

Every time you resist change, you are choosing short-term comfort over long-term fulfillment. 

 

Choosing short-term comfort and then complaining about the long-term discomfort your choices bring to your life is you avoiding every opportunity to grow and evolve.

 

Complaints are not solutions.

 

They underline a problem that requires a solution.

 

A change.