Why I left the corporate world.

(my full exit plan from toxic 9-5 to a soft and feminine life)

Oli explore's | letter 40

reading time - 12 minutes

If you are a woman drawn to introspection and self-exploration, I’ve made a playlist for you. 

Maybe you want to tune in whilst reading this letter.

In March 2019, I left my job, my apartment and my life in Switzerland to move to London.

The vision I had for myself was to become this ambitious, successful and strong woman who had everything for herself.

A nice body.

Unshakable confidence.

And a magnetic aura.

I envisioned myself on my way to work for a big gym in a manager position, coffee in the hand, walking through the London underground with clarity, purpose and direction.

I wanted to “be someone”, and I thought that the only way to get to that place was to bend over backwards for a company in the corporate world by perfectly doing everything that was expected of me.

Eventually, I got myself to a really good place.

I was working for one of London’s most luxurious health clubs, living in one of the most expensive neighbourhoods, surrounded by women who only wore Lululemon leggings.

Just as I thought that I was finally becoming that woman, my mental and physical health started to decline.

I started dying from the inside.

At first, I just noticed the small symptoms:

• Waking up heavy and tired
• Feeling constantly bloated
• Unusual breakouts and dull skin
• A dysregulated cycle and more painful periods
• Getting irritated and upset by the smallest things
• Constantly questioning my performances and my worth

Then, it all grew into a constant internal anxiety that no amount of willpower and performance could hide.

One thing I’ve realised about women is that we have this capacity to say “fuck it” and let it all burn down and die.

So that’s exactly what I did when I finally confessed to myself that I was going to lose the small parts of Olivia that didn’t get wrapped up in the pressure and standards of our relentless society.

I moved back to Switzerland in summer of 2023 with no money, no job and no concrete place to live, but a strong urge to create and be with nature.

Since I had nothing left, I also had nothing to lose.

So I started creating.

Women have this capacity to channel, nurture and birth life into everything they choose to grow.

Sometimes it’s nurturing and birthing a baby, 

Most times, it’s letting the little girl within her grow up, heal and mature until she becomes a woman who fully owns her place in this world.

The woman who outgrew the corporate world.

Most people like to do as they are told. 

Often, without questioning whether the rules, expectations and path they are on make sense or not, and whether they agree with them or not.

The woman who belongs to herself realised that the path of society is an option, 

Not an obligation.

She can force her face, her body and her behaviour to match the beauty standards and people’s ever-changing expectations of her,

Or she can create her own.

She can trap herself into a lifelong career, a role or a relationship.

Or she can expand into the world and let her being and beauty unfold as she explores the depths and corners of her womanhood.

Moving country and settling into a new place with almost nothing made me realise how free I am.

I don’t owe anything to anyone,

I simply owe myself the life I want to live.

I started writing. Exploring my mind.

Spent hours sitting in nature. Sitting in silence. Sitting with my emotions.

I cried. A lot.

I got angry, frustrated, pissed off.

I danced and laughed. Alone.

I touched my body and moved it in unstructured ways.

I sat in front of the mirror, looked into my eyes, to talk to my soul.

With time, I became more silent.

The more silent I became, the easier it was to create.

And suddenly, it wasn’t about creating anymore.

It was just about being.

A woman becomes emotionally mature by letting everything she thought she depended on, collapse and dissolve in front of her.

The love of her father.

The validation of men.

The support of other women.

The confirmation that she is enough.

She becomes whole by filling herself up with her own love.

And the certitude that she will be loved forever.

Most people like to do as they are told.

Which means most people will never get to be free.

If you recognise yourself within the woman I’ve described and feel the urge to create instead of obey, then it’s your turn to say fuck it.

And you do that by devoting yourself to the woman you are.

You need to live out your womanhood and feminine qualities every day.

And that, through all 3 planes of existence – the mental, the physical and the emotional 

Dedication to your physical body

The current state of your body reflects the value you give to your body.

If you think that your body is worthless, you will eat low-quality food, be around low-consciousness people and cultivate habits that deteriorate and harm your physical health.

On the other hand, if you devote yourself to your body and health, you won’t be able to eat, be around people and keep habits that are toxic to your body without feeling disrespected and let down by yourself.

When you devote yourself to your body, health becomes its most natural expression.

It doesn’t make sense to punish yourself through restrictive diets or painful workouts if you have developed the ability to attune to your body’s essential needs to function optimally.

A woman who is devoted to her body is responsible for making her body feel safe, nourished and open.

Through consistent training and movement.

Through nutritious and high-quality food.

Through deep rest and recovery.

Through touch, presence and softness.

Through strong boundaries and creativity.

I created a whole course on how to restructure a life around your body’s needs and your health. You can grab it here if you are ready to devote yourself to your body.

Step 02. Dedication to your emotional body

A woman who is constantly stressed lives in survival mode.

Survival mode puts your emotional body in overdrive, making you either highly reactive or completely numb.

Humans have such a rich, emotional, and sensory experience of life. 

There is a complexity in our ability to feel that you can only understand if you allow yourself to feel the full spectrum of emotions that can come up in any present moment.

Most people’s lives are not set up for us to have the space and time we need to feel. 

But a woman who is devoted to her truth, her growth and well-being, takes her emotions seriously.

She deeply values her time and offers it only to people, projects and commitments who deserve her.

She often retreats from the world to sit in solitude and bring clarity and awareness to her emotions, her needs and desires to then act from that place of integrity.

When you know and love yourself from that place, beauty standards, people’s expectations, and even the rules of society have no power over you.

Your commitment and dedication to become the only guideline you trust to keep showing up in the world.

I also happen to have created a course about Self-love and healing your relationship with yourself.

I’ve you’ve already have your physical health under control, you can grab my CHOOSING ME course to learn how to devote your life to loving yourself. 

Step 03. Dedication to your mental body and your art

Most women are desperate for attention (that’s one of the reasons we are victims of all these unreachable beauty standards).

Which, unfortunately, makes us forget that we have way more to offer than just our bodies and our beauty.

We lose ourselves in trends, beauty products and men’s approval and neglect to develop our ability to think, question, learn, create and articulate ideas, concepts and knowledge that could make this world a better place.

A woman who is devoted to her mental body is a woman who is constantly learning, challenging her beliefs and seeking truth.

She cultivates her focus, her attention and her persistence to pour it into projects and goals that transform her into a living work of art.

If you forgot that your purpose on this planet is more than your 9 to 5 job and your everyday routine, then use this letter as a reminder that life is gifting you with endless possibilities.

The endlessness of life is just a reflection of the wasteness and the potential that is waiting to be explored within you.

The more curiosity, time and attention you pour into yourself, the more love and abundance will start pouring out of you.

Your own cup will be so full that it will leak into the world, making everyone around you feel drawn to the purest expression of your own love and truth.

That is a woman who can finally become soft because she dared to step away from a world that only wanted her if she was willing to sacrifice who she is.

Live like a woman.

Most women are way too delicate for the world we have created as a society.

To live like a woman is to make the choice to live as yourself.

And with that, to live in integrity with everything that makes you the woman you are.

Your cycle and your bleed.

Your emotions and irrationality.

Your intuition and need for space, silence and freedom.

Your pleasure and sexual desire.

Your creative and expansive nature.

Insert yourself into life and do it in your own way.

I’m writing this letter to encourage you to dream again. 

To choose to have faith in yourself, not only because you deserve it, but because,

you are a woman.

I will see you in the next letter,

Until then, take care.

Oli.